Cadbury and Tween Genocide

I left the office to grab a bit of chocolate so the last two hours of the work day would be bearable. All of the delis and bodegas were glutted with teenage girls. A lot of people milling about isn't a rarity. But when they are all sporting acne, braces, backpacks and poorly advised, stripe-y, goth-y leggings on their arms, you realize something is amiss. Fucking public school opened for bidness on Tuesday, so I've got a chief suspect and I can officially turn in my sleuthing credentials.

Fucking school-aged twats. Thank god for Dairy Milk:

the BENEFITS of chocolate...

Enjoying chocolate as part of a balanced lifestyle can play a part in making people feel calmer , more relaxed and generally happier. Chocolate gives us an emotional boost, which triggers similar 'good feelings' to those we experience when listening to music, or being in love!

Delicious AND pseudoscientific! Thanks for encasing the technical bit in speech marks, Cadbury Bureau of Chocoscovery! I'll take one cocoa handjob and some 'good feelings' please!