Monday, June 19, 2006

For a Good Time, Call

I think I can safely assume that we don't have a lot of Maxim readers in the crowd. That said, each issue has a recurring feature called “Found Porn”. Users send in everyday products (typically produced in a country far, far away with differing contextual definitions) that are unintentionally sexual. This cookie looks like a penis. OMG! This broom has the word “jizz” on the package. LOL! This doll is diddling her bit. NSFW!

It is my grandest ambition to one day start a magazine that has a feature called “Found Comedy” where readers send in unintentionally hilarious things they found while watching porn. I was loaned a salacious skin flick by a member of Cracked Out to splice into one of the shorts I was editing. Sidebar: the DVD is called “Gentlemen Prefer Jenna” and I’m pretty sure her popularity has something to do with her enthusiasm for cock sucking in front of a camera. I DIGRESS! Before the meat (ha!) of the movie gets rolling, there are 15 minutes of personal ads. But these ain’t of the Match.com variety. The audio is tame and typical:
Are you looking for a good time? Do you want to meet a like-minded person? Go out to dinner or a movie? Maybe you’re just looking for someone to unwind with? Call now!
But the phone number and voice are played over rapidly cut video of hardcore fucking. People fucking, sucking, taking fluids to the face. Do you want to go on a date tonight and then, just maybe, blast her in the ass? It is…quite simply…the funniest thing I have seen in a month.

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